During my childhood difficult situations caused me to seal off from my feelings, (when I was about three). This is the only way I could cope with my environment. It was some 35 years later that I realized that this is a familiar pattern from many lifetimes and I chose my parents and childhood situations in this life to give me a chance to explore this and deal with it. As I grew older I became more and more aware of my lack of feelings. I was noted for being totally calm and stable even in a complete crisis. Close relationships amplified my awareness of this distancing making me more and more aware that something was missing.
How do you know if your Feelings are Real? How can you tell if your feelings are Really Representing Yourself?
The very outer layers of this sealing off was a severe stammer / speech block – another way of not interacting with my environment and other people. I started working on getting rid of that layer when I was about 22. It took 6 years or so to get to a point where I was speaking and interacting fairly confidently in most situations. So, although I now regularly give public talks people only come to know of my past speech restrictions if I tell them.
I got rid of the stammer on my own. A stammer is great to work with, it provides instant feedback and enormous amounts of information regarding your inner workings – if you just take the time to look at it (a true gift in disguise?). My childhood situation forced me to completely suppress myself both to fit in with the needs of others and also as a means to survive what was going on. The extreme of needing to be very quiet and withdrawn resulted in the stammer.
Are you Losing Feelings? Awareness of a Lack of Feelings & Recovering Lost Feelings
Having largely reclaimed my verbal expression I started digging for the lost feelings. Digging is the right way to describe it as they were buried very deep. The work done on the stammer gave me a good foundation to explore further and push these limits. Unsealing takes a lot of energy (you have enormous amounts of energy tied up in this storage and burial process). Reversing therefore takes time, perseverance and courage.
As more buried feelings surfaced (lots of crying), triggered at times by my surroundings, interactions and relationships, I realised that I could not use this feeling information as a basis to respond to those around me. They were what I would call ‘release’ feelings emerging from storage having been suppressed and therefore unexpressed in past times. When these ebbed and other feelings replaced them then again I realised that these were also not true ‘flowing’ feelings but learnt, conditioned, habitual ones – these are what I call ‘false’ feelings. In my case it was these conditioned responses that had helped produce the sealing off in the first place.
Hoe to Recognise Fake or False feelings and Inauthentic Emotions
False feelings are ones that arise automatically when a particular emotional or situational button is pressed, responses you have learnt. They have been created by conditioning and or deep trauma usually over long periods of time. I wasn’t impressed with these feelings either – don’t get me wrong I didn’t get annoyed or angry with myself. It was more a case of taking note of them, understanding their limitations and being more determined to get back my true, core, free flowing, unconditioned feelings.
Advice on Recovering and Regaining True Core Feelings
I became very good at tracking feelings back to their childhood origins and dealing with them. However, after a while I found myself coming upon huge reserves of feelings that related to extreme anguish with absolutely no childhood source – there was no origin – I was puzzled. It took about three months to discover that this huge reservoir was from another existence. This was the beginning of my understanding that traumas from previous lives could have a major detrimental effect on this one.
How to Become more attuned to True Authentic Feelings
I got to a point where I could (fairly easily) recognise the difference between; true flowing feelings, buried feelings from this existence and suppressed feelings from previous existences (being released), as well as feelings arising from conditioned reactions.
And then of course you have your intuition to plug into as well which is a completely different ball game. This comes from your multidimensional self, which is trying to keep you on track with your life agreements, providing you with new information from beyond and so on.
So, the question I have to ask you is where do your feelings come from? Can you recognise the differences? If you have no or little baggage to clear in this lifetime then you may be puzzled at all the different feeling types listed above. Some of you will still be sealed off; others will be in the conditioned feeling phase. Are your feelings being true to your TRUE SELF – this is the real question?
I’ll give you an example. You meet someone you like. However you are in a phase of releasing unexpressed anger from your childhood (which therefore has absolutely nothing to do with the here and now). How you met this person matches up with earlier situations within which you responded to in a fearful way. So in the background you feel a bit uneasy and frightened with them but at the same time you have had many great times together in previous existences which is giving you a warm glow inside and an immediate rapport and (just to make it really complicated) your intuition is saying great – but wait.
This sort of situation is probably fairly typical for many people at this time and of course, if you don’t know why you are feeling as you do – then it can be very confusing.